Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Why so stinky? Why so disgusting?

Why is it that with a boy, stinky or disgusting equals cool?

If that question alone hasn't warned you, this post is going to be about some rather stinky, unpleasant, not so polite things.

My son is nearly ten years old. When I had my son I once made the comment that I would now get to see the other side of things. I was promptly told ny a few people that there is no difference between raising boys and raising girls. I can tell you that those people either raised all boys or all girls. Anyone who has had both will tell you there is a BIG difference.

Today, I was reminded of some of those differences. We had to run out today to pick up some essentials (butt paper and toothpaste) some none-essentials (hair ties, a quick easy meal for dinner, and a new telephone because the kids "can't hear" the phone when I try to call home) and school supplies (for Matt and I. The semester starts Jan. 10th!). Because WalMart is a one stop shop for all these items, and because I live quite literally in the middle of nowhere, we chose to stop there.

First, can I say that boys...... and men for that matter..... seem to lose brain cells when they enter WalMart. They instantly begin acting completely stupid and trying to see how badly they can embarass the females that are with them. Now, I have closely observed this behavior on multiple occasions and after observing other people in WalMart I can tell you this only happens if the male is shopping with a female. If he is alone or with one or more other males, he behaves in a mostly sane manner.

While my boys (my son and my hubby) did survive the trip to WalMart, (I will admit that during a moment of insanity, while trying on new shoes, I may have thrown my shoe at my husband because of his INSANE behavior), we did all escape the store in one peice. Barely.

As we wrapped up our shopping trip I glanced at the clock and realized that it was well past lunchtime, so we went to a nearby Taco Bell for Taco Tuesday. WOOT! My favorite! After a quick, late lunch we are headed home. As we are cruising down I-35, it happened. Well, several things actually. They all occured within split a few milliseconds. I was passing a semi when my daughter half screamed, half groaned "DISGUSTING", my son burst into laughter, and a smell strong enough to make me gag hit my nostrils.
I quickly started rolling down my window, ignoring the fact that it was in the mid 20's and I had no coat on.

Sierra and I were horrified, Will was proudly proclaiming "THAT CAME OUTTA MY BUTT!!!", and Matt was turning to high-five him. *shakes head and shrugs* MEN!

I thought my disgusting reminders of the difference between girls and boys was over but I was mistaken. Just a few minutes ago Will came back into the living room and said "Hey sis, do you really think Taco Bell's FIRE sauce is too hot to eat?" She nodded and he said, "Yeah, well you should feel it coming through the other end! That poop BURNED!!!" Then both of my boys were once again doubled over in laughter as Sierra and I were left asking the question, "WHY?"

Why do boys really find things that are so disgusting to be so cool? And in case you are wondering, no, they don't outgrow this. I witnessed proof of that when my husband came running out of the bathroom yesterday screaming. "You have got to come look at this! That is one HUGE poop! Seriously, come here!"

I refused, and realized that one day my son is going to do this same thing to his wife too. The poor woman!


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